It is a wonderful blessing to be married to Brice.
I understand even more now how it is Gods plan for us to be married. Im so grateful I didnt let fear get in my way of the greatest blessing.
Being married is normal life. There are normal ups and downs, good moods and not so good moods, stresses and carefree moments, but the difference is you have someone to focus your attention on to help and love. You have someone to go through those ups and downs of life with that loves you and is helping you in the same way. I love that life is about making it the way you want it and choosing to be happy and grateful. I havent always felt this. I have had to slowly let my fear go in my life and as I did that I was free to see the good in life. Being secure in the love of my husband and the consistency we have between each other, has also made a huge difference for my heart to heal from pain and bitterness.
Another thing that has really opened my eyes lately is having our little baby soon. It is a miracle God has given us to create. Create in the sense of creating life but also just creating our life the way we want. Being pregnant isnt the most convient thing in the world. And im sure it will be the same thing with being a parent. But looking at what we are creating now and how it effects the rest of our lives and eternity, its not a sacrifice really at all but a wonderful blessing. Sometimes I cant get my heart and mind to comprehend the magnitude of it all and what lies in my hands right now to create.
I want to share, hopefully not too cheesy, what I love so much about my husband Brice. There are a lot of things I could say but honestly sometimes words feel like it doesnt express it adequately. But I guess to sum it up I feel like with Brice anything is possible.
I feel so secure and free in his love and it is liberating. I always feel like enough and even though I have my weaknesses I feel like he tries to understand and help me. I feel completly accepted for who I am.
He knows how to help me when I feel anxious which is very different than anyone ever has. He doesnt let us stew over it. He will listen for a bit but he knows that the best thing for me is not for him to solve it but to get up and do something to distract myself and its amazing cause it is the best thing for me. Im learning to love him best and help him too. When he is having a hard time, my first reaction is to become distant but I have learned that it is then that i need to love him more, not because im trying to fix it but because I want him to know its ok hes not feeling his best. And with a simple but consistent tenderness, I can show him he is ok.
I love how he is a guy guy, you know what I mean. He figures things out and loves to work on projects around the house. But so tender and sensitive to people, and me. I cant hide my feelings ever cause he knows.
He is silly but only lets it come out around the people he really loves and feels comfortable with. This makes me feel special.
He is so thoughtful and very genuine. He will write me letters just to share his feelings. Like the other day i had a hard day at work, and came home to a sign with a list of things to do that night. The first one including vent. Then the next one was to eat dinner and then massage. There were six things on that list of things he knew would help me relax and make me happy. If he feels like I need it he will offer something that he knows will make me relaxed and happy without me asking and appreciate it so much. Ill come home and he will have something done like putting up the play yard sleeper and crib because he knows it will make me happy to see it.
He is the hardest worker and I know would do anything for me and for our little family. He wants to be dad and is so excited for our baby. I know he will be so sweet and loving with our baby boy because of who he is and the great amount of love he has.
He is super organized and loves doing the finances. Which is great because it stresses me out and I feel like im horrible at it. He has everything filed to best help us. He was the one who felt we should look into buying instead of rent. If it wasnt for him it would have never happened. I am the kind where I have to go over my decision a million different ways and then still ill feel hesitant. Brice is more about making decisions and moving forward and ironing out the details which is a good balance for us.
He likes to cook and is good at it. I would say most of the time we either cook together or he will already have things started before I get home if hes home before me.
He is ambitious. But he is realistic and sometimes has to remind me not to get too set on perfection, but he is a dreamer too. He doesnt see the why nots, he only sees the why not me. He has high goals for his life but he is open to new opportunities and possibilities for us. Like this last weekend, we took a mini trip to Manti and stayed a Bed and Breakfast. He mentioned having a bed and breakfast later in life as something we can do together. I would have never considered but by the end of the trip we were talking about what we could do and how we would do it. Its fun to consider new possibilities and it feels possible with my love by my side.
He is good. His heart is pure. He lives in a quiet way helping his family and is a good son. I have seen the blessing he has been to his parents and his brother and I feel like his tenderness really helps him to want to reach out and help.
His heart is full of love. He loves to love.
He amazes me with all he does in his life and the person he is and is becoming.
Things havent slowed down much since summer. Since I wrote last, we found out we were pregnant, got through morning sickness for two months, survived Brice's first semester at night school and working full time and being second counselor in the elders quorum, bought a condo, moved into it, lost a job, and then found a new job. In two months another change will happen in our lives, so for now we are enjoying the lull. We have needed it! :) Here is me at 16 weeks...and i thought then that i looked kind of pregnant :)
Here I am four weeks later.
I need a picture of me now at 29/30 weeks but a good picture is hard to come by these days.
On Sunday we got to see Kelly and Nate's baby girl Clara Lynn. It was so neat to hold her and see how sweet she was. It seemed more real than ever I think for the both of us that in two months we will be having one.
I am looking forward so much to it and cant wait to see our little boy. It is amazing how incredible the body is and how beautiful God's creations are. One of my favorite things is to feel him move inside of me. It is incredible to think that a tiny human being is moving and living right now getting ready to come out. I remember the first time we went to the dr. and had an ultra sound you could see the pulsing of his little heart on the screen. He was one centimeter big. One centimeter. I know this probably sounds fake but besides my hip pain at night i love being pregnant.
our first date night as a married couple. ive always loved country music but this would be my first experience going to a rodeo. we went to outback for dinner to see my brother ben and bring him candy to help him through his shift. we saw elder nelson there with his family, only a table down from us. :) that was exciting.
then we headed to lehi for the fun. i couldnt believe how many people came. The stands were full of hicks and hick want-a-be's (like us).
The show started with wild horses being let free and a dozen crazy men going after them to try to catch them, put a saddle on them, and ride them for a number of seconds. one guy was hanging on to a rope and being pulled on the ground along the edge of the wire fence right in front of us! they had other games like cattle steering, barrel races, and bull riding. That was the most intense. No one could stay on the bulls for 8 seconds, which was what they had to do to qualify. I tried getting pictures of the action but i was too far and i didnt have the right lense.
one bull was going so crazy he was bucking wildly with his head down that he ran right into the fence directly in front of us. you could see where the bull's foot prints were outside the fence cause they had slid under the fence from the force of the animal. I thought for sure he would break through it or the bull rider would come flying over.
They also had motorcycle riders. they would jump from one ramp to another and do tricks in the air. it was amazing and completely crazy. i couldnt believe it when they went off the first ramp, did a front flip with the motorcycle and landed on the other ramp. it was nuts.
people get way into rodeos and i can see why. it was really entertaining and you could feel the unity in the community. its an exciting sport that leaves it open to whatever happens happens. brice and i both agreed that we should come to another one. maybe one day we may be one of those cute families with their little kids in cowboy hats and cowboy boots. too cute.
its getting dark outside. a storm is coming in. my brothers just left after a yummy meal. my first successful rolls (my mom's recipe) i was so proud of myself. my brothers were happy and brice too. it was fun talking to them after. i love when they ask for advice about dating or about where to live. i was thinking how fun it would be to have twin. what would it be like to basicly do everything the same as another person...same classes since kindergarten, same friends, same interests, same college classes, same jobs...i used to think how nice it would be to have a side kick in all social situations. anyways, i thought i would post some pictures of our new place. my mom, brothers and dad were all there to help. it was a great weekend with everyone.
here's me and kristen moving stuff in
brice putting together our side tables
Later our furniture came. we got in all at this whole sale furniture store. we've put up more pictures and stuff since but this what i have right now.
we love our new place. its a quiet neighborhood. we love to see the kids riding their bikes and playing. it was super windy friday so we went to walmart and bought dollar kites. brice got his up pretty quick and it stayed for a long time.
mine on the other hand had issues
but eventually we got them both up.
it was seriously so fun and simple and it made us happy. we live in the best place. i love the mountains and the snow at the top, the sun (when its out) and blue sky. it just makes me so happy. i love our new carpet and our furniture and how we have decorated it together. making it home has been one of the best things about getting married.
the other fun thing we did was long board around our apartment. brice loves to long board. i love to see him long board. i love to try to long board but go VERY slow. i even turn some times..im that good :) here's cute brice..
so i feel like I have gotten worse over time with recording my life and thoughts about it. but with a new resolve today to be better, i dedicate this blog.
first and formost I thought I would start by saying that after being engaged 5 months, our wedding is finally almost here. I really cant believe it. three weeks and I will be a married women. not that i will be any different but it is still so fun to think about it. i am excited for our wedding and to be married but scared too that things wont be the way i want them for the reception. with all this planning for all this time, i think brice is wondering what life will be like without the wedding planning. and i am too. I am excited to move on to something new. but i am excited for it to all actually happen. the other night i had a dream that everything was going wrong with the wedding...no photographer, no cake, no flowers, and the invitations were popsicles with the date and time written on teach one...lets just hope its not that bad even if things dont go exactly how I have imaged and hoped. I need to just remember what is most important and try to let it go and enjoy! thats my plan to do at least.
And about our long engagement...a lot of people have given us a hard time about it. not our family, just random people that dont really know us. isnt it always like that...the people that dont know you have the biggest problem with what you are doing. I never thought i would be engaged for a long time but it just worked out this way and honestly it was the best thing. the way i work with making decisions (figure out all my options first, mull it over it in my brain while looking at it in all directions) it was been so nice to have time to research and figure out what I want everything to be like. and i figured out something about myself...i like planning. I really do. so for the most part this wedding plannings stuff has been fun and interesting. brice is such a good finance :) getting stuff done and making me call people back when I dont want to :) He has totally taken care of the photographer. He has emailed people for wedding stuff. sat with me while ive made mutliple to do lists for fun and helped to get as much done on our list as could. he stuffed every envelope while I graded and did the labels and addresses. i think this picture makes my point..hahha
but all in all, we have enjoyed this progress together. i think planning a wedding together helps you to see each other in a new way and is good preparation for planning a family together. we have grown so close since we've been engaged. i think we have done pretty good working everything out and keeping things balanced. but i think we are both excited for it to finally be here and move on to things slowing down a bit until August.
i teach 7-8 year olds. i believe in love and family. music, art, vintage, garage sales, summer are my simple pleasures. favorite books are the ones that make me think. favorite movies are the ones that make me cry. i believe in sincerity, kindness, and the goodness in others. creating and making beauty in simple ways are the joys of life.
14. spending time with my brother ben. i am so lucky to have the brothers that i do. rough day yesterday but by the end it was a great day. felt SO SO good to let me be me.
13. sweet ethan from my class....balled his eyes out today because he changed his card and kept telling me how sorry he was and how he felt bad. he even gave me a few hugs. i knew he felt really bad. i reasurred him that i was not mad, that he was a good boy, and that i loved him. he said thank you miss rosell. he calmed down and was fine the rest of the day. my aid dawna said she admired that i held my ground. its not hard when you know what will happen if you dont and especially when you know it is what is best for him. i sure do love that boy.
12. there is just something about a good hard work out, more a kick boxing workout. im not sure how working hard can be so fun, but it sure feels so good. i am thankful for that at least.
11. my sister, my dad, my roomates, institute, alma 33, date on friday
10. wishing i could stay home for another week. but glad i went anyways. grateful i listened to my heart and it proved to be everything i had hoped and wanted it to be. taking charge isnt so scary after all.
9. loving my new hair cut and katie who cuts it. went to zuppas and ran into a friend from work. girls night out with dinner and a movie (leap year...very cute). such kind sincere beautiful girls. most of them are teachers. remembering that i am really not alone and there are other people who feel the same way that i do.
8. herman. his kind words to me reminding me that being good is worth it and recognized. lindsy. so grateful for her faithful example. tawna. her sweet call.
7. good food, warm coat, eating ice cream with a little spoon, going to bed early, almost asked for letter of recommendation but chicken out - tomorrow has to be the day...
6. feeling so incredibly lucky to know the kids in my class. it feels so natural to be with them.
5. honest expression with a dear friend. having a sense of humor in tough times. encouragement from my mom. our long conversation. her listening ear. hearing all about her hopes and plans for the future.
4. so blessed to know tawna, anna, and amanda my roomate. wonderful girls full of faith and love. girls talk in my room with tawna and anna until late. having my friends tonight was an answer to prayer.
3. sleeping in until 10. spending time with my cousin taylor and brother bri. bri letting me help him clothes shop. finding an old article i wrote last year for the district news paper that helped a ton to write the new one.
2. girls talk until 3 with tawna. feeling so blessed to have been friends for so long and to have that constant. the yellow room in her parent's house that makes me think of babies and families and love.
1. today is another day of no work. wearing my new shirt I got on clearance. found the perfect picture for my tumblr.