Saturday, February 18, 2012

Brice



It is a wonderful blessing to be married to Brice.

I understand even more now how it is Gods plan for us to be married. Im so grateful I didnt let fear get in my way of the greatest blessing.

Being married is normal life. There are normal ups and downs, good moods and not so good moods, stresses and carefree moments, but the difference is you have someone to focus your attention on to help and love. You have someone to go through those ups and downs of life with that loves you and is helping you in the same way. I love that life is about making it the way you want it and choosing to be happy and grateful. I havent always felt this. I have had to slowly let my fear go in my life and as I did that I was free to see the good in life. Being secure in the love of my husband and the consistency we have between each other, has also made a huge difference for my heart to heal from pain and bitterness.

Another thing that has really opened my eyes lately is having our little baby soon. It is a miracle God has given us to create. Create in the sense of creating life but also just creating our life the way we want. Being pregnant isnt the most convient thing in the world. And im sure it will be the same thing with being a parent. But looking at what we are creating now and how it effects the rest of our lives and eternity, its not a sacrifice really at all but a wonderful blessing. Sometimes I cant get my heart and mind to comprehend the magnitude of it all and what lies in my hands right now to create.

I want to share, hopefully not too cheesy, what I love so much about my husband Brice. There are a lot of things I could say but honestly sometimes words feel like it doesnt express it adequately. But I guess to sum it up I feel like with Brice anything is possible.

I feel so secure and free in his love and it is liberating. I always feel like enough and even though I have my weaknesses I feel like he tries to understand and help me. I feel completly accepted for who I am.

He knows how to help me when I feel anxious which is very different than anyone ever has. He doesnt let us stew over it. He will listen for a bit but he knows that the best thing for me is not for him to solve it but to get up and do something to distract myself and its amazing cause it is the best thing for me. Im learning to love him best and help him too. When he is having a hard time, my first reaction is to become distant but I have learned that it is then that i need to love him more, not because im trying to fix it but because I want him to know its ok hes not feeling his best. And with a simple but consistent tenderness, I can show him he is ok.

I love how he is a guy guy, you know what I mean. He figures things out and loves to work on projects around the house. But so tender and sensitive to people, and me. I cant hide my feelings ever cause he knows.

He is silly but only lets it come out around the people he really loves and feels comfortable with. This makes me feel special.

He is so thoughtful and very genuine. He will write me letters just to share his feelings. Like the other day i had a hard day at work, and came home to a sign with a list of things to do that night. The first one including vent. Then the next one was to eat dinner and then massage. There were six things on that list of things he knew would help me relax and make me happy. If he feels like I need it he will offer something that he knows will make me relaxed and happy without me asking and appreciate it so much. Ill come home and he will have something done like putting up the play yard sleeper and crib because he knows it will make me happy to see it.

He is the hardest worker and I know would do anything for me and for our little family. He wants to be dad and is so excited for our baby. I know he will be so sweet and loving with our baby boy because of who he is and the great amount of love he has.

He is super organized and loves doing the finances. Which is great because it stresses me out and I feel like im horrible at it. He has everything filed to best help us. He was the one who felt we should look into buying instead of rent. If it wasnt for him it would have never happened. I am the kind where I have to go over my decision a million different ways and then still ill feel hesitant. Brice is more about making decisions and moving forward and ironing out the details which is a good balance for us.

He likes to cook and is good at it. I would say most of the time we either cook together or he will already have things started before I get home if hes home before me.

He is ambitious. But he is realistic and sometimes has to remind me not to get too set on perfection, but he is a dreamer too. He doesnt see the why nots, he only sees the why not me. He has high goals for his life but he is open to new opportunities and possibilities for us. Like this last weekend, we took a mini trip to Manti and stayed a Bed and Breakfast. He mentioned having a bed and breakfast later in life as something we can do together. I would have never considered but by the end of the trip we were talking about what we could do and how we would do it. Its fun to consider new possibilities and it feels possible with my love by my side.

He is good. His heart is pure. He lives in a quiet way helping his family and is a good son. I have seen the blessing he has been to his parents and his brother and I feel like his tenderness really helps him to want to reach out and help.

His heart is full of love. He loves to love.

He amazes me with all he does in his life and the person he is and is becoming.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Baby oh baby

Things havent slowed down much since summer. Since I wrote last, we found out we were pregnant, got through morning sickness for two months, survived Brice's first semester at night school and working full time and being second counselor in the elders quorum, bought a condo, moved into it, lost a job, and then found a new job. In two months another change will happen in our lives, so for now we are enjoying the lull. We have needed it! :)
Here is me at 16 weeks...and i thought then that i looked kind of pregnant :)


Here I am four weeks later.


I need a picture of me now at 29/30 weeks but a good picture is hard to come by these days.

On Sunday we got to see Kelly and Nate's baby girl Clara Lynn. It was so neat to hold her and see how sweet she was. It seemed more real than ever I think for the both of us that in two months we will be having one.





I am looking forward so much to it and cant wait to see our little boy. It is amazing how incredible the body is and how beautiful God's creations are. One of my favorite things is to feel him move inside of me. It is incredible to think that a tiny human being is moving and living right now getting ready to come out. I remember the first time we went to the dr. and had an ultra sound you could see the pulsing of his little heart on the screen. He was one centimeter big. One centimeter. I know this probably sounds fake but besides my hip pain at night i love being pregnant.