the timothy family

Baby oh baby

2012-02-07T18:44:00.000-08:00

Things havent slowed down much since summer. Since I wrote last, we found out we were pregnant, got through morning sickness for two months, survived Brice's first semester at night school and working full time and being second counselor in the elders quorum, bought a condo, moved into it, lost a job, and then found a new job. In two months another change will happen in our lives, so for now we are enjoying the lull. We have needed it! :)
Here is me at 16 weeks...and i thought then that i looked kind of pregnant :)

Here I am four weeks later.

I need a picture of me now at 29/30 weeks but a good picture is hard to come by these days.

On Sunday we got to see Kelly and Nate's baby girl Clara Lynn. It was so neat to hold her and see how sweet she was. It seemed more real than ever I think for the both of us that in two months we will be having one.

I am looking forward so much to it and cant wait to see our little boy. It is amazing how incredible the body is and how beautiful God's creations are. One of my favorite things is to feel him move inside of me. It is incredible to think that a tiny human being is moving and living right now getting ready to come out. I remember the first time we went to the dr. and had an ultra sound you could see the pulsing of his little heart on the screen. He was one centimeter big. One centimeter. I know this probably sounds fake but besides my hip pain at night i love being pregnant.

Rodeo Roundup

2011-06-26T16:52:00.000-07:00

our first date night as a married couple. ive always loved country music but this would be my first experience going to a rodeo. we went to outback for dinner to see my brother ben and bring him candy to help him through his shift. we saw elder nelson there with his family, only a table down from us. :) that was exciting.

then we headed to lehi for the fun. i couldnt believe how many people came. The stands were full of hicks and hick want-a-be's (like us).

The show started with wild horses being let free and a dozen crazy men going after them to try to catch them, put a saddle on them, and ride them for a number of seconds. one guy was hanging on to a rope and being pulled on the ground along the edge of the wire fence right in front of us! they had other games like cattle steering, barrel races, and bull riding. That was the most intense. No one could stay on the bulls for 8 seconds, which was what they had to do to qualify. I tried getting pictures of the action but i was too far and i didnt have the right lense.

one bull was going so crazy he was bucking wildly with his head down that he ran right into the fence directly in front of us. you could see where the bull's foot prints were outside the fence cause they had slid under the fence from the force of the animal. I thought for sure he would break through it or the bull rider would come flying over.

They also had motorcycle riders. they would jump from one ramp to another and do tricks in the air. it was amazing and completely crazy. i couldnt believe it when they went off the first ramp, did a front flip with the motorcycle and landed on the other ramp. it was nuts.

people get way into rodeos and i can see why. it was really entertaining and you could feel the unity in the community. its an exciting sport that leaves it open to whatever happens happens. brice and i both agreed that we should come to another one. maybe one day we may be one of those cute families with their little kids in cowboy hats and cowboy boots. too cute.

the gun show is this way

2011-05-28T12:54:00.000-07:00

another sunday

2011-05-22T18:26:00.000-07:00

its getting dark outside. a storm is coming in. my brothers just left after a yummy meal. my first successful rolls (my mom's recipe) i was so proud of myself. my brothers were happy and brice too. it was fun talking to them after. i love when they ask for advice about dating or about where to live. i was thinking how fun it would be to have twin. what would it be like to basicly do everything the same as another person...same classes since kindergarten, same friends, same interests, same college classes, same jobs...i used to think how nice it would be to have a side kick in all social situations. anyways, i thought i would post some pictures of our new place. my mom, brothers and dad were all there to help. it was a great weekend with everyone.

here's me and kristen moving stuff in

brice putting together our side tables

Later our furniture came. we got in all at this whole sale furniture store. we've put up more pictures and stuff since but this what i have right now.

fun in the sun

2011-05-21T20:11:00.000-07:00

we love our new place. its a quiet neighborhood. we love to see the kids riding their bikes and playing. it was super windy friday so we went to walmart and bought dollar kites. brice got his up pretty quick and it stayed for a long time.

mine on the other hand had issues

but eventually we got them both up.

it was seriously so fun and simple and it made us happy. we live in the best place. i love the mountains and the snow at the top, the sun (when its out) and blue sky. it just makes me so happy. i love our new carpet and our furniture and how we have decorated it together. making it home has been one of the best things about getting married.

the other fun thing we did was long board around our apartment. brice loves to long board. i love to see him long board. i love to try to long board but go VERY slow. i even turn some times..im that good :) here's cute brice..

the latest

2011-05-21T19:41:00.000-07:00

so i feel like I have gotten worse over time with recording my life and thoughts about it. but with a new resolve today to be better, i dedicate this blog.

first and formost I thought I would start by saying that after being engaged 5 months, our wedding is finally almost here. I really cant believe it. three weeks and I will be a married women. not that i will be any different but it is still so fun to think about it. i am excited for our wedding and to be married but scared too that things wont be the way i want them for the reception. with all this planning for all this time, i think brice is wondering what life will be like without the wedding planning. and i am too. I am excited to move on to something new. but i am excited for it to all actually happen. the other night i had a dream that everything was going wrong with the wedding...no photographer, no cake, no flowers, and the invitations were popsicles with the date and time written on teach one...lets just hope its not that bad even if things dont go exactly how I have imaged and hoped. I need to just remember what is most important and try to let it go and enjoy! thats my plan to do at least.

And about our long engagement...a lot of people have given us a hard time about it. not our family, just random people that dont really know us. isnt it always like that...the people that dont know you have the biggest problem with what you are doing. I never thought i would be engaged for a long time but it just worked out this way and honestly it was the best thing. the way i work with making decisions (figure out all my options first, mull it over it in my brain while looking at it in all directions) it was been so nice to have time to research and figure out what I want everything to be like. and i figured out something about myself...i like planning. I really do. so for the most part this wedding plannings stuff has been fun and interesting. brice is such a good finance :) getting stuff done and making me call people back when I dont want to :) He has totally taken care of the photographer. He has emailed people for wedding stuff. sat with me while ive made mutliple to do lists for fun and helped to get as much done on our list as could. he stuffed every envelope while I graded and did the labels and addresses. i think this picture makes my point..hahha

but all in all, we have enjoyed this progress together. i think planning a wedding together helps you to see each other in a new way and is good preparation for planning a family together. we have grown so close since we've been engaged. i think we have done pretty good working everything out and keeping things balanced. but i think we are both excited for it to finally be here and move on to things slowing down a bit until August.

2010-02-03T22:27:00.000-08:00

"I'm Moving On"

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on

daring to dream

2010-01-24T13:04:00.000-08:00

i was so energized by what i heard and felt in church today. you know those days where you feel like someone must have known? today was one of those days.

Wonder
Open mind and heart
Reach in ward and upward
Trusting
Hold on to hope

really liked the acronym this girl made up for her talk.... she went more in depth into each one. after i talked to her and loved hearing her story. went to school, majored in communications (not the broadcasting side, but the relationship/communication side) went to hair school, went on a mission, now going to grad school in education. it was so awesome talking to her.

going to hair school? now that would be fun....

i am just so ready for an adventure, to do something that doesn't make sense. to listen to my heart, rediscover my passions and desires(and that they are probably different then when i was 21) and know and feel and believe that they are important. then go for it and heck with everything else.

rediscovering my passions and desires will take work and a little painful self analysis. it may not make sense to others. it may not make a whole lot of sense to me. but it will be freeing and hopeful and happy again. that is how i will know i am on the right track. when i look inside and trust myself and let go off all the fear of what others think, what will be left is a calming peace that i am in the right place. a place that isnt about being tough and enduring one hard thing to the next. but it will be about listening to my heart, making and taking opportunities, believing in my goodness as a daughter of God and the goodness of my life, faith in greater things to come, taking the adventure, reaching out and opening my heart, hoping in miracles that can be done, daring to dream big. it will be about me being who i should have always been, not for any other reason than because that is the way i am and the way God created me to be. for a reason. with all my crazy loves and passions and desires that has been squelched by fear and pain and disappointment and doubts. mostly its about learning who i am, not what i should be or need to be or have to be, but who i am....that i dont have to be anything or anyone else for anyone. it is about learning who i am and being ok with that, imperfections and all. :)

2010-01-20T21:48:00.000-08:00

i think i have crossed over. two things i never thought i would be saying. first i really want a dog.

i mean really bad.

second i am hooked on the jane austen movies....especially this one....

what is this world coming to

2010-01-19T21:31:00.000-08:00

me. red skirt and yellow boots. green grass. quiet morning. smell of rain. all the time to think. simple life. me.

back at it

2010-01-19T19:07:00.000-08:00

california was just what i needed. not even an hour into my trip my tire was going flat and i thought i would have to turn around and go back. i felt like i was in "the truman show". thankfully i had brought a can of coins for the air machine and was soon on my way.

i stayed in a hotel all by myself like a real adult in cedar city! i always wondered why some one would want a super big bed when its only them. who needs so much room? but you know what, it was very nice. options are nice. even though i still stayed comfortably on the one side.

Almost every goal was met: GO, then take time to think and pray and figure out where the heck im going, keep everything a surprise, stay in cedar city, take pictures on my way, visit a antique store, play with kristen, give my mom a hug, learn how to make crocheted flowers, take pictures of kristen, see dad, spend time with mark. it surprised me how much i needed that trip in more ways then i can express. "..thou art able to show forth great power, which looks small unto the understanding of men.." ether 3:5 it was good for me to listen again to my heart.

Part of my figuring things out meant figuring out how to move past the last few years of disappointment and heartache. there are two things i concluded are absolutely crutial for me to continue with faith and hope.

1. I am a beautiful, valued, lovable daughter of God who has much good to do. my thoughts and dreams are important.
2. god is a loving, kind god, who really knows me and loves me. he has a special plan for me that is full of happiness and joy and growth. there is purpose in my life and in the things that have happened....

sunday i went to stake conference with my family. pres holland spoke about forgiving ourselves and then forgiving others. what he said meant so much to me. i couldnt hold back my emotions. i wasnt even sure what i was thinking but i was feeling so much. i guess there are just lays of experiences, thoughts, and feelings that it's all kind of compacted. mostly i was feeling the burden of regret and guilt, recognizing how long its been since ive truly felt free and full of life. the same feeling you instantly get in the arms of your mom or when you walk into your home: the feeling you are loved, safe, and enough.

being home filled my heart with the importance of family. my family. as i walked away and got into my car alone, i felt an overwhelming gratitude for my parents and my siblings. of all the people i have loved in my life, they are the only ones who have never left me, no matter how hard things have been, how hopeless it may all feel. they never give up on me. they believe in the good things still to come in my life even when my heart is blinded by pain and i cant see it. it is the kind of love you can trust.

and now i am back. instantly i feel this anxiety rising just being here, being reminded of all the questions i have in my heart, and falling back into survival mode. i am grateful for my job, for the people i work with, my adorable students, for the all opportunities i have had to learn and grow. but i feel so antsy i can hardly take it.

OWN your happiness emily. it is YOURS to create...

2010-01-18T19:55:00.000-08:00

2010-01-18T18:18:00.000-08:00

2010-01-07T18:42:00.001-08:00

rearranging

rearrange the pieces in this old room
built up just to start again
making something new, i don’t recognize
me
anymore.

crashed to pieces the fragments
remaining
pick up what’s left
twisted you between the sheets of memories
try telling me once, ill tell you again

keep it locked
don’t bother to knock
here
cause I’m not your door mat
anymore, no not me anymore

you've kept me here, locked in
held with invisible bands
woven threads of grays and reds
like all the rest, just like all the rest

put back together, seams sewn between the lines
of you and me and all the rest
patches of broken hopes and broken hearts
mismatched memories

take what’s yours but leave what’s mine
but taking yours you take mine
you took it all, leaving all but
me and the shadows of you
in between the lines

2010-01-05T22:59:00.000-08:00

what i love most

2010-01-04T00:30:00.000-08:00

when i think about my mom i think of the word endurance. this woman knows what it means to press forward, to endure, and smile all the way through. i admire my mom the most for her quiet strength, her child like faith, her selfless nature, and how much she loves babies and children. i love how she was an interior designer. she is creative and an artist at heart. what i love most is her mother heart. she loves to nuture and help others without complaint. and she is funny and silly and the best part she doesnt even mean to. i love to hear her talk about dreams and hopes and plans. it lifts me a little bit higher and i feel a little more free and hopeful with the thought of her dreams and hopes coming true. i cant think of anyone else that deserves it more. Go get em' mom! You of anymore deserves all your hearts desire. Dare to dream and make your dreams your relatity.

2010-01-03T21:03:00.000-08:00

2010-01-03T20:45:00.000-08:00

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2010-01-03T20:29:00.000-08:00

2010-01-03T19:38:00.000-08:00

2010-01-03T19:25:00.000-08:00

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2010-01-03T19:04:00.000-08:00

2010-01-03T18:44:00.000-08:00

2010-01-03T03:10:00.000-08:00

dear faith,
where have you gone? i tried looking for you but you are not where you usually are. i do not understand this at all. i trusted you. i believed in you. you were my dearest, most loyal companion. where will i go when disappointment comes rearing his ugly face again?
your long lost friend,
em

dear disappointment,
oh how i dislike you so. i really wish you would just leave me alone. you know, i understand you must come around every now and then to remind me of the good and the sweet. Kind of like the sprinkles on a cupcake - (except you taste like black licorce and cough drops - its nothing personal). i get that. i really do. but really, seriously always? i wish you would just go away and leave me be and stop pushing hope and faith out of their way. they have a right to be there too you know?
....me

cards

2010-01-02T13:45:00.000-08:00

first things first

2010-01-01T12:38:00.000-08:00

slept in to an embarrassing hour. must be productive...

today's to dos
1. read scriptures
2. clean up the clothes thrown around my room
3. go to walmart
4. grade.. ugh (so horrible), start to write up articles for school newspaper that i have put off WAY too long
5. maybe do something fun later tonight

...oh yeah get ready somewhere in there too

simple pleasures

2009-12-31T12:58:00.000-08:00

there is something about this picture that just makes me happy. i love the colors, the kids, their clothes, the fact they all have cameras. blogging has opened my world..let me tell you. im loving all the different creative ideas i am finding out there. there are some amazingly creative and funny people. last night as I was making my plans for today, i was feeling rather ambitious and focused. which is all good and dandy except i woke up not in the mood to do the musts but wanted to rather do the cans. So instead I layed in bed a little longer, talked to my dear friend tawna on the phone, took extra time to get ready, changed twice to find just the right outfit, and worked on my blog while listening to endless brian white country station on pandora. simple pleasures i suppose, which only means so much for the checklist...

today is new years eve. its hard to believe the year is over and we will be starting into the year 2010. im hoping that this year will be my year. that i can look back and say that this new up coming year was the best year.

at the beginning of each year my class writes goodbye summer and hello second grade poems. i think i ought to do the same, as a tribute to the old year and a welcome to the new ... (adapting it a little of course)

Goodbye 2009
goodbye...
26th birthday
fourth year teaching
room in the trees at victoria place

adios...
manada
philly
tiff being single

So long...
car and loan payment
question marks
gre test

farewell...
shawnski
bishop, sis stokes, VP ward
tawna ... ohio is so far away :(

goodbye 2009, i will miss you so!

Hello 2010
hello..
new year's resolutions
talking to amanda on speaker phone
canon rebel

hi...
Ingrid Michealson CD (i already love you)
sweet second grade class
mark's mission call

hola...
vintage craze
more periods, less question marks
summer adventure...

bonjour...
my 27th birthday
millrace #8
new attitude

hello 2010, will you be a kind friend?

2009-12-30T01:03:00.000-08:00

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Once again in two thousand ten..

2009-12-30T00:25:00.000-08:00

looking forward to a new year and the chance to a fresh start. today i purchased a camera (part of my new years resolutions) and messed with picasa by editing some old photos. i am really excited to get into it. i'm on my way to reaching my goals for the year hooray!

what i hope to DO in 2010...
1. buy a camera and take a photography class at UVU...class starts jan 28
2. start a blog....check
3. go through the temple (and really this time)
4. renew my 24 Hour Fitness membership, GO regularly, and participate in Sprint Triatholon (depending on how my swimming improves) if not, then a 5K or 10K. most likely a 10 K in early summer.
5. move away and do something else for the summer. i would love to go to ca and be with lindsy or maybe dc like i planned a few months ago or az.
6. scripture study rountine like i did in college...30 minutes everyday, take notes, and listen to the spirit.

What I hope to BE in 2010...
a more open, selfless, and forgiving person. i want to be the best me. i want to be what sis nadauld describes.

"The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity."
— Margaret Nadauld

introspection

2009-12-26T00:29:00.000-08:00

the last day of school i received a tender gift from ethan's (one my students) parents. inside the present was a picture of their family and a copy of their family christmas letter. this mother is simply amazing. she is just beautiful, mother of 3 wonderful kids, and so very sweet and kind. her oldest daughter is severely autistic, then ethan who is autistic but high functioning, and a adorable little girl in kindergarten. ethan always gets so excited when he sees her in the hallway and at assemblies and tries to say hi. in the letter she gave me, she had written a letter to herself giving advice as if she had known what would happen in the year 2009 to help prepare herself for the difficulties that lay ahead. i was very touched by her strength, her tenderness, and her openness. i decided wanted to do the same. here goes nothing...

dear emily,
I wish I could say that this year is the year all your dreams will come true. It is going to be another tough year. It is going to be another year that will stretch you in ways you didn't think possible. It will test you and teach you. Remember Emily, don't give up. There will be many days you will feel like it, but know that you can and you will make it. And more importantly, you will learn more about who you and the goodness you still have to make this world a better place despite your set backs and disappointments.

there are lessons you will learn emily. there are things you will learn you didn't even know you needed to learn. the change you have been wanting will start to happen. pay careful attention to the lessons you will learn through these challenging times.

lesson #1 Persist. Yes, you know this. You know how to endure. But remember when you are RS president in January and you are feeling as lost as ever as to what you are suppose to be doing in your life, remember to persist. good things will come from it. you will see bishop brown and sis brown go but seeing their constant goodness and example will bless your life. you will also feel the love of the stake president and his counselor and see them leave too. you will hear a talk from sis wilkey (pres. wife) that will be exactly what you need to hear. then bishop stokes and sis stokes will move in. their example, their love story, their goodness will be a wonderful blessing. you will love bishop stokes genuine concern and love for you. he will lift your burdens but somehow make you feel like you are helping him. remember to persist at your calling and at work and although you haven't learned yet about creating the joy because you are still searching for it, that day you are about to throw your towel in and take a red eye flight to can coon forever, persist. you will love your counselors. martha will be a blessing to you then and later. you will love the sisters. a mixture of emotions will come with the stress and responsibilities. write down what you learn and remember that nothing is permanent. you will miss tiff and will miss amanda and feel like slowly you are being left alone but shawn will be there for you. even though you don't know if its right, persist.

lesson #2 there is joy in the joy of others. this is going to be a tough one for you emily. you will see others you love get things you have always dreamed of having. it will be hard because these are the things that you feel very deeply about and its been very difficult for you to understand. the joy and hope of others will remind you of the hope that still exists. the faith and courage of your sister and friends will awaken the belief and possibilities of your dreams. dare to dream.

lesson #3 trust yourself. you will be searching for an confirmation to a troubling question. you will not understand because you will not receive an answer. you will feel very alone and forsaken. but when you wake up one morning with the idea to move to millrace and its the first thing that has made sense for a while, move forward with it. and when you get on your knees and pray and get an answer, you will remember what it feels like to have no doubt. when you decide to take the gre class and pray and receive the same confirming answer, remember that he will answer your prayers. trust that you can receive answers and you can know. follow it and you will be even more certain it is right.

...

California Christmas

2009-12-25T22:10:00.000-08:00

merry christmas! left utah on wednesday with amanda in my trusty honda to spend time with the fam in california. it was 70 degrees at grannie rosie's house which was a pleasant change from the wintery weather in provo. being with my siblings and spending time with the fam is nice. there are some nostolgic feelings that come with the season and being back in California. i find myself thinking more about my childhood and random memories of growing up, and of experiences Ive had since leaving the place i call home. i was remembering a time in 6th grade at the Academy, walking down the sloppy sidewalk under the overhang covering to the open grass playground and thinking that one day I would be in college. thinking about future hopes and possibilities brought an excitement. as if somehow i could predict the future and anticipate it. now life has moved. college did come and go, somewhat in a blur. now ive been teaching four and a half years...also a blur. i wonder what that little girl would have thought about the person i have become. i still feel like that little girl in someways. the same little girl trying to anticipate the future and hold on to something concrete and certain.

thankfully some things dont change, as least as long as I can remember. i think that is why I have always loved traditions. like matching christmas pjs, the picture on the stairs before opening presents, acting out the nativity scene at grannies, sharing our "talents." Christmas is a good time.

wishing you all a wonderful christmas day!